I thought I'd conquered my difficulty in the whole belief and forgiveness when I finally figured out how to forgive someone who used my SSN to take out credit cards in their name. Then I wound up having to open my home to the very last person on earth that I'd want to. I'm not comfortable with them in my house because of their recent criminal record. I feel fiercely protective of my little family, and the tiniest bit of something that I wouldn't trust is not welcome in my home. Then I was challenged. "[X] will be coming to visit tonight." I had already articulated that I didn't want [X] to know where I lived, let alone be in my home. [X] is someone for whom I have very little regard for many reasons -- mostly because of [X] hurting people that I love. Then I was on a drive to my hair dresser's, about 1/2 hour away. (I have the luxury of most of my life's conveniences being within 15 minutes from home.) I had time to think about the idea of [X]